Astrologaster Review
Forgive me if you disagree, but I think astrology is fake. I can’t be sure about that, as I’ve never talked to any of the planets or stars, but it all seems like made up nonsense to help us humans feel better about the chaotic nature of life and it really rubs me the wrong way. In fact, the only astrology-related thing I’ve ever enjoyed was “That’s Your Horoscope For Today” by Weird Al. But last week, a small game called Astrologaster came out and changed my mind. I still don’t believe in astrology but now Weird Al isn’t alone.
In Astrologaster, you play as Simon Forman, an apparently real man who believed the diagnoses and remedies for all sorts of illnesses can be found in astrological readings of the stars. At the beginning of the game, either by pure luck or the irrefutable power of astrology, Simon cures himself and others of the bubonic plague and secures himself a reputation as a “doctor of astrology and physick,” earning a small group of trusting patients. To diagnose and cure the patients, players are given a handful of different star charts and must use these in concert with the patients’ reports of symptoms. Treat enough patients correctly and Simon will earn a medical licence, which is important as practicing medicine without a licence is a jailable offense even in renaissance England.
In my mind the best and most important thing to mention about Astrologaster is that it is a musical. But before you stop reading and pass on this game entirely, I don’t mean that characters sing their dialogue. Instead, before each visit with a patient, an honest-to-goodness choir sings a brief introduction for each character and their recent actions. I don’t know if these six singers are professional but they sound incredible. The fantastic singing would be enough for me but also the songs are funny and well-written, giving players a summary of the patient’s past activities and current status while only being about 30 seconds long so they don’t overstay their welcome. Because the rest of the game is 1-on-1 conversations, they help give players an idea of the larger world around Simon’s practice.
Good writing is not confined to the songs though. Each of the characters are wonderful, with entertaining character arcs and dialogue that fleshes them out to seem like a genuine person. For example, one of the patients is woman whose husband is an explorer, meaning he is away from home for lengthy stretches of time, and so she’s extremely lonely and depressed. However, she never says this, instead players see it filter through her dialogue as she talks about all the parties she’s constantly throwing to have friends over and talking up how much she loves her distant husband and all the gifts he sends from his travels. It’s genuinely impressive to me how life-like these characters were presented through their writing. On top of all of this, because choral introductions and great writing weren’t enough, the dialogue is also fully voiced. All of these things might be standard for a AAA game, but Astrologaster only costs $10 so a full voice cast is a wonderful surprise.
Readers may have noticed I haven’t spoken very much to the actual game play of Astrologaster, but I have a very good explanation for that: There isn’t really much to it. During each patient consultation, you listen to patients describe their problems and then consult the stars. This is done by looking through 2-3 options presented to you by the game, each of which is backed up by a handful of star readings. Perhaps I failed to grasp some deeper mechanic within the star reading, but as I was reading the star charts I was given a lot of information like “Venus exalted in the house of children” or “The sun in detriment to the house of finance” and it all didn’t seem to mean much. Because each reading has a summary and meaning of the various positions of celestial objects, I didn’t care much about what Venus in retrograde meant until a pop-quiz that was thrust upon me. I think Astrologaster would have been more fun if, instead of giving players a few distinct options to choose from, players were given the entire star map and had to deduce the meaning for themselves. I think an almost Papers Please-style layout, with reference notebooks and guide sheets set around the edges of a star map would have been an engaging challenge, determining which celestial objects could be ignored and which represented different paths the patients could take. Additionally, many times patients visit Simon with non-medical concerns, and, without symptoms to help guide a diagnoses, these visits felt like guess-work at best, though perhaps that was a designer choice to expose the flaws in the “science” of astrology. When it came right down to it, the parts I enjoyed least of Astrologaster were the parts where I was playing it. This isn’t to say that playing it isn’t fun, but playing it on the PC, I definitely noticed that it was a game that was also made to be played on iOS devices. I think this game might feel better played on a phone, because the controls are simple and the places where the game really shines, writing and audio, won’t be affected by the platform and each patient appointment can be finished in a few minutes, making it my ideal length of playtime for a phone game.
Like a lot of games I think are just OK, Astrologaster makes me a little sad. I think it’s a bit of a pity that such fantastic singing and writing is wrapped up in a game that’s not that fun to play. However, I do believe it’s worth playing, if only for those features. I think this might be a fun game to play with a significant other or a group of friends, especially if you have a friend who’s really into astrology. Astrologaster is by no means a bad game, it’s just not a fantastic game either. But maybe for $10, or $5 on iOS, it doesn’t need to be.
Buy this game on sale
It’s worth playing, just not at the price they’re asking
